Don’t you hate it when Jeffy B. is right?

10/8/04

Jeff Burk Photo

Don’t you hate it when Jeffy B. is right?

Of course I’m talking about my publisher, the Burkster. Before I get to addressing his take on the Funny Car Nationals that has virtually every drag race message board humming, we’ve got some other business to deal with.

First up is news that the nostalgia Funny Car owners got together the Thursday before the California Hot Rod Reunion to discuss making the current Funny Car guidelines into a firm set of rules for the 2005 season. I believe 11 of the currently 12 active VRA teams were present, as were representatives from the VRA and NHRA. Every indication is that the meeting went well and not too many fingers were pointed and no name-calling to speak of. Also brought up was whether the Funnies will have their own eliminator at next year’s CHRR. At this point, we can only hope that they can shift the schedule to make room for us. Of course, you’ll be the first to hear when the rules are solidified. If you didn’t know that the Funny Cars even had guidelines, you can check them out here http://www.vratech.com/.

Hey, speaking of the CHRR, which is still under way while I do the hunt and peck for you folks, the gate seemed lighter than in years past with parking being no problem at all and no lines at the ticket windows. If you weren’t there, then shame on you! The Cacklefest featured 40 cars! Now even though I’m not as big a fan of this “festival” as I used to be, that is impressive! The one car that stood out to me the most had to be the Holy Toledo Jeep, that thing was YELLOW and spotless.

Hey, something else that was cool is the splitting of A/Fuel, which is the VRA’s answer to Top Alcohol dragster. They ran separate eliminators for blown alcohol and for injected nitro. No idea if this will stay for the regular VRA races next season or if it was just a reunion showcase. Could this be NHRA testing the water for the big show? Highly unlikely, but good message board fodder nonetheless.

Did anyone else notice the string of 5.80 e.t’s that the top fuel guys and gals were spitting out? This had to be, e.t. wise, the most impressive race in nostalgia top fuel history. Congratulations go out to Mendy Fry, Sean Bellemeur and Scott Mason for running their first 5’s. I’m sure you have already heard about it from our own Agent 1320, but it deserves repeating.

The class missed having an all 5-second top eight by one car. And the car count was good at 22 cars vying for a 16-car show. I guess we will see if the powers that be revisit looking for ways to limit these racers to 5.99 and slower.

And who else thought that Scott Parks would be the first Jr. Fuel car in the sixes? Hey, that’s lots of hands, well friends it was not Scott but J.D. Zink of Chico, Calif. J.D didn’t just squeak in with a .99 with a 9, but a solid 6.972 @ 190.71 mph that placed him in the number one spot after three rounds of qualifying. Congratulations to J.D. and his hard-working crew.

Another surprise at the CHRR was watching “Getting Nostalgic” buddies and nostalgia eliminator veterans, Joel and Dave Gruzen qualify number one and go all the way to the final. Unfortunately, they went too quick and handed the win to an always-tough Ken Sprecht. Congratulations to both teams!

I would be remiss by not mentioning the honorees at this year’s event. As always they chose a line-up steeped in history and some true legends in the sport. Grand Marshal Paula Murphy and Honorees Bill Alexander, The Frantic Four team of Norman Weekly, Ron Rivero, Dennis Holding and Jim Fox, Tom Medley, Joe Mondello, Amos Satterlee and Art Chrisman, who was surprised to learn he won the Preservation Award at the Reunion Honoree reception. Famous Amos had his own little cheering section at the track on Saturday afternoon with people he has worked with in the past or still works with, Big show Top Fuel stalwart Robert Reehl, fuel altered and match race funny car pilot Ron Fassl, former top eliminator west pilot Bryan Bruhn, and some hack by the name of Jeff Utterback. Kudos to all of this year’s honorees!

OK, time to deal with Burk, well sort of. As you know, Burk’s race report and analysis of the inaugural Teen Arrive Alive Funny Car Nationals here in the pages of DRO raised some hackles to say the least. I’ll admit I was pissed when I first read it. I took it personally. So did a lot of people. But after calming down, re-reading it and removing myself from the fact that I was one of the participants, it got me to think how can we as a group get better. I’m not talking about race day; I’m talking about showtime. Burk’s constructive criticism has gotten dialogue going on the classic Funny Car message boards with most of the teams agreeing that we can get better. I think we almost need two different approaches to what we do: A race approach and a show approach. I think I have been too busy patting myself on the back for the fact that Gaynor and I go from point A to point B every time for the most part. I don’t know how to make more fire come out of the pipes, so I can’t comment about that. I can do longer burnouts. At St. Louis, we did short ones because we were in “race mode,” and wanted to make sure that we put less heat in the clutch, etc. because we were running under a paid performance per run format. We treated every run like qualifying at a race. We lost sight of the show aspect. Maybe we need to work with the bookers for a less strict performance clause. Team uniforms are a good idea. So are handouts, back up girls and promoting a rivalry with another team. We have a little thing going with Mike Adams and if you were at the track Friday afternoon you heard us in the tower over the PA talkin’ trash about each other. It’s good for business and it’s fun! Also we need to come to the track prepared. If possible, test before the event and have your ducks in a row. I know it’s still drag racing and anything can happen, but you can’t be too prepared. I’m probably preaching to the choir here but there is a lot of potential to have fun with our hot rods, get a little something back for our effort and maybe feed our egos by having kids of all ages come by your pit to tell you how bitchin’ you are. It works for me.