The Burkster’s Christmas Wish List
I wish that NHRA and IHRA would
take a page out of the NBA and Major League Baseball playbook
and offer a limited number of inexpensive tickets at each National
event so that fans (kids) who can’t afford a premium ticket
have a chance to see the big show. The NBA allocates 500(!) seats
at every game that cost $5.00 or less and the NHL, when that league
returns, has said it is probably going to do the same thing. And
baseball has its bleacher seats. NHRA could do this program at
the tracks it owns without a financial problem and would receive
some great publicity. I wish all drivers, owners and tuners would get a “pass" allowing them to speak their minds to their fans and the press without fear of reprisal. The most popular personalities in the history of auto racing are the ones who’ve displayed their emotions, spoken their mind and connected to their fans. Can you say John Force, A.J. Foyt or Dale Earnhardt? I wish that every member racing’s PC police would get a pink slip wrapped around a lump of coal for Christmas. I wish that some of the professional owners and drivers in drag racing would stop padding their bank balances long enough to remember that the fans are really responsible for what they have, not the sanctioning bodies, sponsors nor themselves. I wish that there was some way for the hitters in Top Fuel and Funny Car to still have match races. Bazemore vs. Force, Coil vs. Beard, best two out of three on a warm summer Saturday night at E-town, Indy, or Rockingham! Where do I buy a ticket? I wish for NHRA and IHRA that every points race came down to the last race of the season and please, Santa, NO RAINOUTS!!! I wish for the Pro Stock racers that Ford and every other manufacturer, including Honda and Toyota, would get involved in the class. I wish for the NHRA and IHRA TV broadcasts to have ratings as good as bowling and better than competitive cheerleading. I wish -- really, really wish -- that the producers in charge of all drag racing TV shows would get the clue. Drag racing fans watching television broadcasts can’t smell the nitro fumes or tire smoke; the only thing that TV can give them that connects them to the real thing is the sound. Turn up the volume, cut down on the "personality" chatter, and get a clue -- IT’S THE NOISE, DUMMY! (I know, I know, I’ve beaten that subject to death, but I keep wishing.) I wish for the person or persons who came up with the blimp camera and the super slo-mo for NHRA drag racing to get a serious raise. Those two features really make the television coverage entertaining and informative. I wish the pencil pushers who make rule changes that for many racers seem unnecessary or ill-advised, would at least consider the cost to the "hobby" racer. All rule changes ought to be weighed against the cost, except for the safety rules (safety belt rule excluded). I bet they wouldn’t be so quick to make rules changes if they had to pay the cost. I wish that rules could only be
changed every two years, except for safety reasons. I wish the IHRA and NHRA would adopt the same rules for their Pro classes and then hold a real World Series of Drag Racing at the end of the year. (Hey, I told you at the top I believed in miracles!) I wish that Santa would bring Jerry Toliver a sponsor for next year and while he’s at it, buy one for my buddy Paul Romine. Drag racing desperately needs more driver/owners like those two warriors. I wish that when racers in Top Fuel, Funny Car, Pro Stock, Pro Stock Bike, Pro Mod, and AFD work their butts off and spend their money making their hot rods as fast as they can, they would get something other than a rule change when they succeed. As a Vietnam-era Air Force veteran, I wish that the “suits” in our government who have never served overseas and are sending our honorable and brave men and women into harm’s way had to serve in combat for just a few weeks. Maybe then they'll really understand the heavy price those men and women are paying to preserve our freedoms. Finally,
I wish for all of you a very merry Christmas, a great new
year, and peace. Please, Santa, I’m really serious -- Peace!
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As
is my custom, my last column of the year is my wish list of what
I would like the Jolly Old Elf with the front-motored T/F sleigh
to put under my Christmas tree. I know that most of the things I’m
wishing for are just fantasy but after all it is Christmas, and
as you all know the Burkster is a hopelessly sentimental slob who
still believes in miracles. So, here’s my wish list for the
coming season. 
