So, you wanna be an automotive
journalist, eh?
Words by Cliff Gromer
Photos by TheBruntBros
8/29/05
get lots of requests from young aspiring writers, photog¬raphers
and folks running from the law on how to break into the automotive
writing business. To these young car enthusiasts, writing
about muscle cars, drag racing, drifting and wheel bearings—and
actually getting paid to do it—is a dream job. Yup,
automotive journalism is the fast ticket to fame, glamour,
riches and luxury. Rather than spending an enjoyable hour
or two on the phone with each and every one of you explaining
the ins and outs of what an automotive journalist has to do,
I thought I'd just lay out the whole deal here.
The common misconception about being a writer, is that it’s
difficult—beyond the God-given talents of all but a
precious few. And, that’s what many auto writers would
have you believe. Well, I’m going to blow the lid off
the whole deal. Right here. Right now.
At the risk of getting strung up by my fellow auto scribes,
I’m going to tell you the honest truth. Being an auto
writer is easy. That’s right, easy! It's a fact. My
colleagues may cringe at this secret finally being made public,
but in hushed discussions at the track during Super Stock
elimi¬nations when no one else could hear us, their experiences
confirmed what I already knew. This job is a piece of cake.
The hardest part of being an auto writer is creating a column,
such as the one you’re now reading. I mean you gotta
come up with 500 or so words every month. Now, it's not the
actual typing on the letter and number keys that's difficult,
it's thinking of what to type that's the brain buster. 'Course,
that's not a problem at some print magazines and e-zines.
If the writer or editor can't come up with the right words,
the advertising director, or one of the layout artists or
even the publisher is right there to help. Shucks, they'd
even write—or rewrite—the entire column if called
upon to do it, and sometimes even when they're not. Now, if
that ain't easy, I don't know what is.
And there's more. Here’s the real kicker. An entire
industry has been established just to help auto writers and
edi¬tors fill pages. It's called "public rela¬tions,
the editor's best friend." These nice pr folks send you
stuff absolutely free that you’re welcome to put in
your car mag or e-zine. This saves a lot of brain cell wear
and tear for us writers, and also allows editors take the
money they save in their editorial budget by not having to
pay a writer for the stuff, and have themselves a fling in
Vegas, take a cruise, or whatev¬er. Public relations professionals
send you all kinds of material. You get exciting news stories
and even pictures of and about their clients and their products.
They even provide approved quotes from bigwig company executives
that writers can use to give their stories that extra credibility
edge over the competition.
One of our favorite PR firms that sends us a Christmas card
every year, regularly deluges us with stuff about their premier
client—Zino’s Shine Car Bird Poop Remover Gel
In A Bottle. This stuff is dynamite, if we say so ourselves.
So, we get these news stories how in blind taste tests 5 out
of 7 Chinese immi¬grants who came over in a cargo crate
preferred Zino’s over the next two leading brands of
car care products. Now, that's news. And, so is this—a
Zino’s news release and photo just as we received it:
Sal Zino, president of Zino’s
Shine Car Bird Poop Remover Gel In A Bottle, shows where
his hangnail was removed. A color video of the entire
procedure is available on the Zino website. (Parental
discretion is advised). |
Powell, NJ—Zino’s Shine Car Bird Poop Remover
Gel In A Bottle company president, Sal Zino, recently had
a hangnail removed. The procedure was performed under mild
anesthesia, in the office of Dr. David Brownfinger. "That
hangnail was real¬ly bothering me," confided Zino,
"so I went and had it removed."
Zino is recovering at home with his wife and two children.
Zino’s Shine Car Bird Poop Remover is made with secret
ingredients avail¬able nowhere else on the planet and
is only sold direct by Zino’s.
Zino’s also sells their famous Shine Car Show Polish
& Protector that will keep your paint looking like new
for years regardless of sun, sand¬storms, hail, frogs,
bullets and expo¬sure to small thermonuclear explo¬sions.
Check out their website for a wide selection of car care products,
kitchen cutlery and surplus military footwear.
Now, if that ain't the stuff that inspires great automotive
features, I'll hang up my auto journalist’s hat. 
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