That was as educational as it got for us in Montana, where one of our last official invitations was to -- we're not kidding -- the Testicle Festival. Figures it was near Clinton, Mont.

We ended up in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, for the night. We had a tidy and comfortable room at the Fairfield Inn, which was, literally, blocks away from the creepy Bates Motel. The mom-and-pop Bates Motel, which seemed to be at nearly full occupancy, had a reader-board out front that promised, "Norman can cut a deal for you." (If you haven't seen the Alfred Hitchcock movie "Psycho," you might enjoy the place. But keep an eye on your mother and be extra careful when showering.)

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