Still, that hurts. It hurts the appeal of the sport for an awful lot of people. I hate to use these two words and an acronym, but "Look at NASCAR." Competitive, hell yes. A quick scan of their 2001 Media Guide shows that 14 different winners materialized in 32 calendar 2000 races.

And to use the same 1982 Summernationals above, 15 of the 16 Top Fuel qualifiers had won NHRA national events with Doug Kerhulas with the Neuman & Kerhulas dragster out of Bakersfield being the lone racer out.

I don't know what it's going to take, but this sport has GOT to find a way to drum up some financial support for its most popular competitors. Right now, the two nitro classes are little more than a country club for the rich, a half-dozen genuine possibles in each class.

I keep thinking what with all the dealing and wheeling racers have done with sponsors over the years, isn't there a way to wedge the foot in the door? You know, like footage of a

ADVERTISEMENT

victory party after the teen Mr. Universe contest, Cayman Islands bank records, or vacation footage of a young George Bush clubbing in Cali, Colombia. Something, anything!

Oh well, on that stale subject, who do I think, given the limitations, will be the POWERade champs ... as if you cared. Doug Kalitta, Gary Scelzi, Greg Anderson ... awww, but what do I know?

I'll tell you what though. I don't know how you'd set a price on it or set the bet up, but I do have a parlay that is a sure thing. I'd bet an anonymous someone that one of the four just-mentioned Top Fuel drivers (exception Brandon Bernstein instead of a retired Kenny) will win the season honors, and in Funny Car some driver from the Force, Schumacher, Worsham, or Pedregon teams. If you lose, you give me a tax-free $10,000, and if I lose, I'll live on bottled water, airplane glue and Fancy Feast cat food for a year. C'mon, where's your sense of adventure?

You're damn right there's little risk, but that's how things have been in this town lately.

FINALLY

I'd be sadly remiss if I didn't mention the passing of Sportsman great John Lingenfelter on Christmas Day. The Indiana-based racer is a shoe-in for any Hall of Fame honors and one of the brightest and most innovative mechanics ever. The guy was incredible. Remember Bob Glidden's ill-fated '76 Monza Pro Stocker that he DNQed with at that year's U.S. Nationals? Lingenfelter bought it turned it into an econo altered (B or C class, I think), and the following year won a number of Comp Eliminator titles, most notably at the Winternationals and Summernationals. He probably could've won Stock Eliminator with a TONKA truck, so skilled was he.

One final piece of his legend that particularly inspired me was a stunt he pulled at Bonneville, either in the very late 1980s or early 1990s. He drove a Corvette from his Hoagland, Indiana home to Utah, untrailered it, found a suitable class, made some adjustments, and ran 254 mph for that class' records. He then re-adjusted the car and drove it home right after that performance.