Growing up, I drove all kinds of cars, but my first trophy was in a white ‘61 Corvette, the one with the double headlights and the little long glass in back. They didn't come out with the double taillights and square fender until ‘62. I had the rounded fender in ‘61.

We raced at Lions Drag Strip in Long Beach.It was the only dragstrip we knew before Orange County (International Raceway, the track in Irvine, Calif., closed by developers in 1984). I remember I went out there and won my class with a shoe polish number on my window.

Then I owned Henry J's, all kind of stuff that I never raced. My first real professional car with the old Albertson's Olds chassis that I bought for 150 bucks. It wasn't the real Albertson's Olds, but it was designed after the Albertson Olds. I got a car and trailer and we put an Oldsmobile motor in it. I remember it had rubber balls in the injectors. Enderle injectors.

We took it to Lions. I was out there with Don Prudhomme and Tom McEwen but they didn't even know who I was — or care. We made only one run because we forgot to clearance the bearings and at 800 feet it was on fire.

Today, driving the Castrol GTX Funny Car at 300 miles an hour, I can see people going by in the stands. But in the beginning, I couldn't even see the stands. I said, "Oh my God, am I going to die out here?" That's how it was the first time.

The highlight of that day wasn't the fire, though, it was my brother Louie standing up in the back of the truck cheering because the car had left the starting line for the first time. They had a big sign across the racetrack and when they drove down to pick me up, the sign hit Louie in the head and knocked him off the back of the truck.

The first real car I ever owned was a ‘54 Chevy with a cracked windshield. It had the rear handles shaved off and tuck and roll upholstery from Tijuana. My next car was a Ford Mustang. Three speed on the column with a six cylinder motor with Mickey Thompson mags in the front and big tires in the back.

Then I took my mom's Buick to Lion's a couple times. I had a ‘32 Chevy coupe that I never raced and then I got a ‘62 Ford that had the Interceptor motor in it. It was a 392 we took out of a cop car. Me, Louie and the Brooks brothers. After that was the ‘61 Corvette with the 327 engine and the shoe polish number.

Meanwhile, the Beaver brothers and the Condits were racing the LA Hooker and I'd go over there and look at their deal and then go back to my old steel clutch can and dream about driving a real Funny Car. That's how it all started.

Finally, I bought the "Beaver Hunter" Funny Car. We went to Lions, but it wouldn't start. So we went back home, started it up on a back street in Bell Gardens and I rolled it end-over-end into somebody else's house.

Then I got Steve Bovan's 1974 Vega Funny Car, but I couldn't make the clutch work. They stole it from us, stole the truck and trailer. But we followed them up to Beaverton, Oregon, beat ‘em up in a trailer court and got the car back and then almost ran over the mayor of Tigard, Oregon, leaving the scene. He was riding a bicycle. I remember that.

So I went back to driving trucks and, when I was driving home one day, I was in Buena Park and I saw a Mustang parked out there. And there it was, Chrisman's rear engine Sidewinder. Ray Mayhew sold it to me. He went to high school with me at Warren High, went to Viet Nam and when he was in a foxhole over there, they told him he'd inherited millions in stock. So when he came home, he went over to Chrisman's and bought the Sidewinder. Then he sold it to me, but I couldn't make the Crowerglide work on it either.

So Larry Sutton, who was the starter at Orange County, threw me out. He just said, "get outta here!" So I quit and I decided to follow my brother Walker into the police department, but I flunked the ink blot test.

Then my uncle Gene Beaver called from Australia wanting me to drive his car. So I took $1,200 I got for an organ that my oldest daughter Adria's mother, Lana, my ex-wife, won on "Let's Make a Deal," put it with the money I got from my income tax return and went to Australia.

I sent the promoter a picture of me at Orange County racing against Dale Pulde in the Mickey Thompson Pontiac. But we weren't really racing. The cars were standing still and we faked the picture. But the promoter figured anybody that raced against Mickey Thompson must be a star so he agreed to hire me in.

I had a bunch of guys on the crew who didn't even know how to start the car. But somehow we ran the first 200 in Australia. Suddenly I was an Australian national hero. I've still got the newspaper clippings to prove it. But we never did anything after that except blow up and the promoter finally caught on and he said, "You've never even driven a car, have you?"

But that's where I met Gary Densham and he kind of took us under his wing and got us through the tour and that's why, even today, I'd do anything for him because without him, I wouldn't be here.

After Australia, we came back home, Joe Pisano sold me his ramp truck, Steve Pleuger went to work for me, Bob Fisher went to work for me, Don Steves gave me a gas credit card and I've been going ever since. But that's how it all started.