I know what you’re thinking: “Just what the world needs, another motorsports column!” Well, too bad, here it is anyway! I’ve got a mortgage payment to make.

As you will soon discover, Lenny’s Line is an opinion column. In case you don’t know me, my name is Jeff Leonard and I have been involved with motorsports professionally since 1981. My “Big Break” came with an assignment to cover an AHRA Grand American event at Kansas City International Raceway for Super Stock magazine that same year. Since that time, I’ve written for numerous weekly and monthly drag rags, most of which have made their way into the “used to be “ category. I’ve sold race photos at events too obscure to remark upon (some of my most enjkoyable drag racing moments). I’ve helped promote KCIR’s now-past Summernationals events (Rickie Smith vs. Buddy Ingersoll’s turbo Buick in Outlaw Pro Stock) and I’ve dispensed loads of unsolicited (and often unintended) advice to racers, track owners, and fellow media types. In short, I’ve spent a lot of time viewing the sport from the inside, from a number of perspectives and at a lot of different levels. I am way past the gee-whiz stage and recently recovered from the jaded cynic phase most of us go through. So, the distilled 1999 model Jeff Leonard is just this-- a guy who loves drag racing and wants you to love it too! Humor will be the weapon of choice, but when the situation warrants it, I’ll call a spade a spade! No one who spends their time Drag Racing Online deserves more of the “Company Line”. There is more than enough of that out there already. Facts are nice, but can be hard to come by at times. I’ll use ’em when I can get ’em, but I’ve got enough opinions to fill in the gaps! You can even e-mail me with your thoughts, views, news and whatever you’ve got — just try to keep it fun. This isn’t War and Peace, and nobody here is bent on saving humanity. News on motorsports will have to suffice.

MILLENNIUM FORCE

Now that John Force has made his intentions known concerning his New Millennium Top Fuel team, it’s not too soon to weigh in on the driver selection process. There are plenty of candidates out here, even with the seat apparently reserved for a woman driver. As Force said, “It would be pretty hard for a man to sell lingerie.” It’s pretty hard to argue with that kind of logic.

How the driver is selected could be as interesting as who gets picked. With the F/C championship all but secured, Team Force might well turn post-event Mondays into audition days. If the team’s dragster arrives soon enough they might even kill two birds with one stone; they could work on next year’s T/F tune-up and audition the talent, all in one smooth process.

With that said, let’s get to the fun part! As the man said, “It’s a horse race,” so let’s handicap it. Every race needs a name, so let’s call this the John Force Gal Pal Sweepstakes. Here’s a partial list of candidates who could fill the bill and do the drill!

By no means is this list all-inclusive. Any thoughts anyone has on this subject (or any other for that matter) feel free to e-mail to Lenny’s Line. You can find me at racer4339@aol.com. Just remember — we’re having fun here. No psychodramas, please!

OLD FARTS REDUX

Note: This “recurring feature” is based in the self-delusional process known as the good old days. In other words, I get to bore you with personal recollections from drag racing past. At worst, maybe it will make you think of something in your drag racing past that will trigger a smile.

Summer of ‘69 —the year: 1969; my age: 15; the situation: the Leonard clan is deep into preparations for our yearly two-week vacation. But as I pack and plan, an undercurrent of discontent courses through my adolescent brain. “What’s the problem?” young Lenny is asked. Well, it’s August and KCIR still has not booked in my favorite two funny cars, which in 1969 were Pete Seaton’s Super Shaker and the Doug’s Headers Corvair, and with all the certainty a 15-year-old Nitro fan posesses, I know those two starts will hit town while I’m elsewhere. With a shrug and an exasperated look or two, the powers that be issue my marching orders: it’s on to Colorado! (In truth, I enjoy these trips as much as anyone in the clan, and am the first one in the car when its time to go).

Fast forward a bit and I’m back in town, fresh from the high country sojourn. You guessed it—said stars have indeed come and gone leaving slightly irritated but still hopeful. After all, the 1969 AHRA World Finals will be at KCIR with plenty of Funny Cars in the pits!

To make a long story short, Terry Hedrick drives the Super Shaker Corvair to the Funny Car win, beating Joe Black’s Green Hornet Firebird for the gold. I never do get a live dose of Doug Thorley in 1969, but several years later I do see Dick Burgoise pitch a Doug Header Camaro over the KCIR guard rail and flatten a pickup truck. But that’s another story.

We’re done for now.

photo by Jeff Burk

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