 OH
BOY, LET'S GO TO TOPEKA
I've got a confession to make. I never have liked Topeka. The drag
strip, not the city. Yes, I know about Gary Ormsby's fabulous runs once
upon a time. They named a street after him, how could I not know? Yes,
I marveled as Doug Herbert tore down a tv camera tower, thankfully unmanned
at the time. Nothing was hurt but Doug's wallet (now there's a recurring
theme!). And I stood and watched as John Force torched, in the truest
sense of the word, the actual track surface of Topeka.
And yes, all of this was good clean fun at the races. But I have never
liked Topeka, and probably never will. There's number of reasons, most
of which I will proceed to inflict upon you. Problem number one -- the
layout of the track. The facility was bankrolled, designed and constructed
by folks who sincerely believed ROAD RACING was the key to financial
success in auto racing! Picture yourself standing before one of those
"you are here" directories lie you see in mall lobbies. At Topeka, "You
are here" means you are a million %#*^ miles from anything, most especially
the starting line! If you go to Topeka, you will come out of it in much
better cardiovascular shape, or dead, depending on the individual. So
Lenny will once again be traversing the Kansas wastelands on foot, since
he can't afford a golf cart! And I got a broken toe this year!
But I digress. Next problem is the commute. I live too close to Topeka
for my own good. This is a difficult concept for my friends at work
to grasp for some reason. It's only an hour and a half away from home,
which makes it just close enough to come home and sleep in my own bed
after each day's nitro laden action. Or so says the woman of the house.
One commute, OK. But ya do that for four days, and you get to thinking
you need Monday off. Well, I took last Monday off, but that was because
of the broken toe! What's one more Monday anyway?
And finally, there's the matter of Topeka as a killer. Yep, the way
I sees it, this NHRA national event at Heartland Park Topeka killed
off my favorite race of all time, the old Summernationals at Kansas
City International Raceway. I not gonna brutalize you will a list of
why-fors and whereas -- all I know is the race was doing fine until
they built Heartland Park. And ya can't convince me otherwise. So don't
even try! Really!!
And it's windy out there too! If you know someone who has no prior
knowledge of what the plains states are all about, take them to Topeka.
No further questions will ensue. No I don't Like Topeka. But don't listen
to me. Go ahead and go and see some great racing. But get a golf cart,
don't break your toe, hold on to your hat and stay in a motel if the
lady of the house is ok with it! See ya in Topeka!
THE RACER'S EDGE
It's getting down to crunch time on the Y2K NHRA season. So it's time
to crunch the numbers for the Pro Eliminators at NHRA's annual Topeka
race, and provide you, loyal readers, with the straight poop on just
who does have the "racers edge!"
TOP FUEL
Doug Kalitta 5-2
Sprint Car Survivor looks right at home these Days; why not two in a
row?
Gary Scelzi 3-1
If not for Dougie, would be the hottie going into Kansas. No high plains
disasters, ok you guys?
Tony Schumacher 7-2
Still on da top, so far. Sarge looks to resume drill supremacy, keep
others on KP duty.
Larry Dixon Jr 4-1
Snake's striker making gains. Not the worst of live long-shots.
Joe Amato 5-1
Hey, how about those new peepers, Mr. Snoopy? Would be a nice spot for
win for one of sport's true nice guys.
Cory Mac 6-1
Team is FINALLY living up to potential. It's been a long strange trip,
Mr. Toad.
Kenny Bernstein 8-1
Would rate longer odds, but beer baron usually in the thick of it at
Topeka. Bet'em up and get ready to toast, win or lose!
Doug Herbert 10-1
Hard luck king (and he has the fines to prove it) comes to a hard luck
place. To top Topeka would be truly tantalizing. Or at least a bit of
shine in a chunk of coal kind of year.
Dave Grubnic 12-1
Aussie hopeful can run a number, but win remains elusive.
Jim Cavalieri 14-1
Everyone's fave underdog is on home turf, more or less. Would be a happy
trip back to Huskerland with finals berth.
Don Lampus 16-1
Time running out for Y2K event win chances. Hasn't been a disaster,
but not what they had in mind either.
PRO STOCK
Jeg Coughlin 9-5
Points chase becoming a foregone conclusion. It's doubtful even the
Professor sees this as anything but a done deal!
Warren Johnson 2-1
Still capable of event wins, especially at Topeka. But test mode difficult
to jettison, once established.
EVERYBODY ELSE
4-1 Really, how do ya thin 'em out anymore? When Greg Anderson goes
to the finals one week, Richie Stevens qualifies on the pole some other
week, or Mark Pawuk wins the event ANY week, you truly can make a case
for anyone who can fill out an entry blank, rent an engine, and find
his way to the race track.
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