ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS;
1.
A ban on all "team orders" racing -- Hard to
enforce, maybe, but absolutely necessary if
drag racing expects to be taken seriously by
the sporting world at large. I hear lots of
people, in and out of drag racing, bemoan the
lack of coverage in their local newspaper. It
might just be those races that aren't really
races. Stick and ball sports desk editors would
give short shrift to any "fixed" sporting event
they came across, and that is just what a team-ordered
outcome is. Fix a ball game, and the only press
you're going to get is a crucifixion! Team owners
should realize the American Sporting Public
respects a fighting champion, but has little
sympathy for those who merely maneuver their
way to a victory. Sorry, it's the American Way!
2.
More Pro Mods at NHRA events -- And I don't
mean more entries. I mean more cars in the first
round. Don't have time on Sundays? Run the first
round on Saturday night then, and give the fans
more bang for their buck. Find the money, find
the time, find the motivation to make it happen.
If you are going to use these guys, use them
right. Open up the field and give more guys
a shot at going rounds. The fans, and maybe
a few PM invitees may love you for it.
3.
Increase the top-level sportsman classes to
four -- And those four would be Top Alcohol
Dragster, Injected Nitro Dragster, Top Alcohol
Funny Car and Injected Nitro Funny Car. Run
all four at all national events, or don't. Qualify
eight or 16. Don't bother me with the details.
Check around. There seems to be plenty of guys
building these types of race cars (maybe not
the injected floppers). They just need a place
to race. The best thing about this move would
be the separation of the blown and injected
dragsters. Why in the world should any sportsman
racer spend the kind of money they do, only
to be subjected to constant rules tinkering?
Maybe a guy could stay in the mix longer if
a little rules stability was in play. And besides,
these cars put on a good show and pay entry
fees. What's not to like?
4.
Expand the Pro Stock field to 32. Same story
as Pro Mod. The number of entries warrants an
expanded presence, by any sane reasoning. They
may be boring, as visual race cars go, but the
class is the most competitive in the Pro ranks.
Run the first round on Saturday night -- whoever
makes it into the field during that last qualifying
round anyway? Why not qualify a little less
and race more? Spend some POWERade money, and
make it happen.
5.
Make Angelle an offer she can't refuse -- and
find a four wheeled vehicle for her to drive.
If there has ever been a squandered resource
in NHRA-land, it's Angelle. Did you see her
in her POWERade commercial? The Look, The Hand-Wave,
The Hair -- she's got it all! She even made
the inane seem palatable! You think she couldn't
drive a Pro Stock car? You think GM or Mopar
couldn't dig the vibe? I know -- she doesn't
want to. Hey girl, check out the F-1 scene in
Europe. You see, there's these guys who used
to ride racing bikes, and now some of them drive
F-1 cars and get paid MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!!!
I know you prefer bikes, Angelle, but how do
you really feel about saddling up with the Shoe
Posse just to stay in the sport? Wouldn't you
rather control your own destiny? Food for thought,
kid.
6.
More feature attractions at local tracks. (There
might as well be one impossible request on the
list.) Maybe NHRA could hire a marketing guy
whose sole responsibility would be to find money
(advertisers) to help local promoters hire in
fan-attracting race cars. They sure aren't going
to pay for it themselves, with a few notable
exceptions. As I said, an impossible request.
Bah, humbug!!
Now, I've been a good boy this year, so I deserve
at least one of these items. I didn't even ask
for my own race car. If you find one that comes
with it's own budget, I'll reconsider, but really,
any one of the above would make my new year
much, much better!
Enough of this tripe. Isn't tripe an official
holiday dish? What is tripe anyway? Seriously,
if I could ask one thing of the drag racing
community in the coming year, it would be to
support the DRAW organization with an actual
cash donation. Not lip service -- send real
money. There are a number of racers out there
who could use some help. Some of them, you've
heard of -- some not. But they all got hurt
entertaining US, so help if you can. Have a
great holiday!
Later! 
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