Drag Racing Online - "Martin Chronicles"

BUCKLE THIS UP!

I assume any of you twisted enough to read this page do so expecting something silly, kidding around stuff. However, this time, and maybe the next, I'm going to change masks and put on a serious demeanor. All play and no work makes T. Martin Chronicles a dull boy. Soooo ... today's topic is the laws regarding seat belts and helmets, a car-oriented topic if there ever was one. And why am I writing on something like this?

Because they are source of constant irritation. Nothing like beginning a trip of whatever length and spend minutes hunting around for the missing strap or be driving along and realize the belt isn't on and trying to wrestle it into position ... all of this, 'cuz you don't want a ticket.

On a motorcycle, I hate to have to take on and off my helmet every damn time I get on and off the bike. In the case of my scooter, it's a genuine pain in the ass to have to get off the bike, go to the back, put in the key, wrestle with it until the seat pops up then secure the helmet in, lock the thing down, and end up doing this five to 10 times a day.

Stop protecting me and get your hands out of my pocket.

My opinion on seat belts themselves. They work. They save lives and prevent potentially serious injury. If I buy a new car I want them in it. If I have young kids in the car or youngsters under 21 who are financially dependent on me, I insist. Maybe not as stringently for the 18-year-olds, but definitely the little people.
My opinion on [motorcycle] helmets. They work. They save lives and limit serious injury. If I buy a new bike and the payments can be reached by step ladder, I'd probably buy a helmet as my first accessory and then maybe a Vance & Hines t-shirt.
My opinion on the state laws that order all to wear seat belts in a car or helmets on a motorcycle under penalty of law is that they totally suck and that I utterly and categorically oppose them.

Who are these people who have decided that an armed police officer can pull you over, demand your license, and then write you a ticket that can go reportedly anywhere from $50 to $250 for violating these safety statutes.

When it comes to my body, and no one else's, just me, I'll do anything I damn well please. Period.

No, I won't drive nude down to the local K-Mart swigging shots of peach brandy. No, I won't put a blind fold on and drive down the street to see how far I can go before hitting something. That's not my style nor any sane person's. I would never deliberately do anything behind the wheel of a car that would jeopardize the welfare of my neighbors/fellow citizens, and, of course, not wearing a seat belt or bike helmet obviously does nothing to contradict that morality.

I am not opposed to safety; I am opposed to the state ordering me, myself, and I on how to conduct personal business or risk losing money that, like most people, I need.

How can anyone defend these stupid laws? If you want to drive without a seat belt, fine. If it's monsoon rain or sizzling humidity, whatever the conditions, you have decided in regards to yourself, a mature working adult, that I think I can get to my destination without injury.

I know for myself if its raining or there are other untoward weather conditions, I will voluntarily put on a belt. People don't drive well when the roads are wet and snowed on. It makes sense. But regardless, don't order me to put on a belt if I don't want one. And, god help you, don't even think about reaching for my wallet if my decision goes against your Boy Scout/Hardy Boys notion of what is right.

Same for a helmet. I've driven motor scooters and I wore a helmet 90-percent of the time. Occasionally, I'd make a short hop in good conditions without one on in pre-state law times. Sure, I was aware that I could get hit by a Diamond Reo cement mixer and my brain might wind up on top of a street sign, but that's my goddam decision. Not the state's, not the cop's, not the insurance company's.

I have heard that a number of state representatives who helped fast lane the seat belt and helmet laws were backed by the insurance companies. Accidents with fatalities always gum up the works for those guys. I got three words for the insurance companies, "Hell," "To," and "Go."

Mandatory insurance laws were passed years ago and I think that's the right thing to do. If you've killed someone with your car, "sorry" is a sorry word.

But .....

if I am forced to buy insurance, I am buying something against my will by definition. I'm all right with that on insurance , but by God, I better not be subject to the rules of profit. C'mon. The insurance companies have been handed a veritable monopoly, a totally captive audience. We have no say in the matter and have to do business with these squirrels, like it or not. Fine, let the state run the industry in a fair and equitable manner (which admittedly given an historical perspective that seems a virtual impossibility), but don't allow these useless dorks to get rich off our deprivation.

As I see it, the seat belt law and helmet laws are symptomatic of a much greater problem in this country and that is the way people can say the word" freedom", but have a weak understanding of what it really is.

Whatever you think of Jack Kevorkian, the cynically labeled "Doctor of Death," who practiced euthanasia on terminally ill patients, he performed his services with the consent of all his clients. People dying agonizing deaths from AIDS, cancer, or the purple ephus, whatever, told him and their usually agreeing family members that they no longer wanted to live under such horrible conditions. That is their decision to make and no one else's.

So what happens. The state of Michigan puts Kevorkian in jail for 25 years with the majority of states concurring and forbidding euthanasia across the boards. To my mind, that's an absolute outrage.

I think the dynamic at work in the seat belt and helmet laws and the Kevorkian case are near identical in this respect. Someone much bigger, stronger, and wealthier is deciding for you how to live your life in regards to yourself, and smacks you upside the head if you half-step. You are told to take off that hat, spit out that gum, wipe that smile off your face, sit down and stand up so often, that I think some of us are getting slug nutty. We are told what to do so much that we automatically accept the order without even thinking about what we're doing.

If you want to go seat belt-less, and your new Volkswagen bug has a head-on collision with a Humvee and you get wedged into your ashtray, that's your business. As long as it effects you and no one else, that decision shouldn't cost you a penny.

If you want to go topless on your motorcycle and risk being a high school science project, again, be my guest. Just so long as it's you and you alone.

One last harangue and that's it.

I feel the chief reason that these patriarchal "You do what I deem best for you" safety rules and some other types of car-type laws crop up is because they bring in money for the city. It's an industry for God's sake. I know that in Los Angeles, when the cops get the "blue flu" (a sort of wildcat strike by police) they don't write tickets and it costs the town over a million dollars a day. Well, that's a hell of an exposure. It seems that every year, representatives pass new laws to fatten the municipal kitty every year. This year, it's O.8 drunk driving limits.

Geez, what'll it be next year? Why not make all car drivers wear helmets, too? You know the majority of fatalities involve head injuries. Look at race car drivers, they wear helmets.

The cities and states get plenty of money, too much money from all of us as it is; they're doing fine. I don't do as well when I'm subjected to fines from such nonsense as the above, and that makes me mad as hell and mad enough to relate to you why we should scrub those statutes and others like them off the books tomorrow.

Next time, it's 0.8 drunk driving rules. Until then happy motoring.

photo by Jeff Burk