Photo by Jeff Burk

10/6/03

BITES OUT
OF BITS

was reading National DRAGSTER's Indy Pro coverage issue and like most readers I started at the beginning. A couple flicks of paper, and I was at the "Bits From the Pits" section on page nine. Two items stood out.

ITEM 1: Johnny Gray was leaving the Checker/Schucks/Kragen Funny Car and cited "business commitments" as the main factor. It turned out that his bustling oil business combined with racing a pro Funny Car kept him in a constant state of motion, and from all indications was wearing him out. It probably was the case that Gray felt the Albuquerque, N.M. airport was more his real residence than his mailing address. The article went on to cite the fact that the capable Phil Burkart and Cory Lee would be the two other team drivers behind CSK co-owner Del Worsham.

Nothing wrong there. Who, what, where, when stuff in a neat 14-inch (or so) package.

ITEM 2: "Western Rock Team, Driver Troxel Split." This bit told us that talented up and coming driver Melanie Troxel and the team of Rick and Larry Michael/Western Rock Top Fuel team had split. The reason? "The team" said, "We have recently determined that our long-term goals were different and thought it best for the team that we made a change." They then complimented her and she in turn was quoted as saying (and I paraphrase) that she was looking for other avenues to explore in racing, had a great time with Western Rock and then wished everyone well.

Guess which one of these I had a problem with?

Admittedly, the two look different. Gray just couldn't do it anymore and stated why, and Troxel ... well, what is the deal?

Look, you guys can speak for yourselves, but having worked at National DRAGSTER for 20 years, I have seen a lot of press releases like the Western Rock one and they bug the sh*t out of me. What were the different goals? Did the Western Rockers want to use the tractor/trailer to haul the race car, while Melanie wanted to transport illegal immigrants? How was it "best for the team?" Was having an attractive decent interview subject contrary to the Western Rock "policy" of preferring a bearded, tattoed, overweight male driver? Or was Melanie maxing out the team credit card at male exotic dance shows?

It's very possible that nothing like the above happened. In fact, I'd make the odds 1,000 to 1, but since Ben & Jen split up, I've gotten cold feet and would lower them to 500-1. The point is why bother with a press release like this? I mean really, why bother? That kind of platitudinous pap would do the Bush White House proud.

I am not ganging up on Western Rock on this. I repeat, I am not ganging up on Western Rock on this. However, I am definitely kidney punching the mentality that promotes this "hush, hush," "boy, I hope they don't find out about this" type of poop.

What happened? Was it the opinion of the team that Troxel couldn't drive anymore? She's just flat lost it. Does Western Rock want an all-male team? What McHale? What? What?

Understand that Western Rock is not alone in this. In the 20 or so years I spent at National DRAGSTER we got 100s of press releases that used these cliches. The driver left "for personal reasons," or "the driver went on to pursue other avenues." What does that say? I'll give you the answer in advance. Nuttin'.

Look, these press missives have been around as long as rubber. That doesn't make them any less specious. They emphatically do not answer the questions. They leave them hanging. Johnny Gray? I know what happened. But with Melanie Troxel, I don't know.