WHO WAS THAT AGAIN?
6/7/04
 Jeff Burk Photo |
Like a lot of you highsteppers, I spent the Memorial Day weekend lumped like a load of laundry in front of the television. Car racing a plenty. Of course, there was the NHRA shindig, the NASCAR Coca-Cola 600, and the venerable Indy 500. Of the three, I spent the most time with the 500.
How could you not? The race was pummeled by cranky Midwest monsoons, and what should have taken three and a half hours (or so) to run, turned into the better part of a day, or the worst part, depending on who you were talking to.
Because of that twist, I switched locales from a cotton hemorrhaging 20-year-old Lazy Boy to the local watering hole, the Studio Suite in Valley Village, Calif. As I swung into the joint, (the clientele know me as a racecar buff) I could see there were a lot of highly developed angry facial muscles, ready to spew out some hard-edged judgments on the Indy race, which was basking in blue over the bar.
“Martin, who are these guys?” one voice boomed.
“Guys meaning … the racers?” I queried.
“Yeah,” the voice socked back.
Then I had to stop and think. I knew the names of Sam Hornish Jr., the Freefalling Foyts and Helio Castroneves, but overall, I could only give a shrug of, “I dunno. The only connection I have with cars is that of a spectator or a passenger. Have another Drambuie, amigo.”
But that got me to thinking. The 500 really has become anonymous. No Rutherfords, Mears, Luyendyks, Fittipaldis, et. al. Really a faceless crowd. Lemme show you what I mean.
Below are six names, three of which are Indy drivers, and the remaining PGA golfers. Name the three drivers from this list.
Okay, give up? Simmons, Clark and Yasukawa are the racecar drivers.
Now, what’s the point of this seemingly pointless exercise? Just this, I don’t agree with my elbow-bending confederates. I mean, it’s car racing isn’t, it? Great racing at that, not a Pillsbury bakeoff. As it turned out, one of the anonymous pack, Buddy Rice, won the deal, and here is where I get relevant to drag racing. According to Darr Hawthorne, pal and fellow DRO staffer, Rice is related to Calvin Rice, the first winner of the NHRA (now) U.S.Nationals in 1955. As Johnny Mathis would warble, small world isn’t it?
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One of the reasons I spent more time with the 500 than the NHRA race at Topeka, was that in my favorite classes, it would be the same private country club of stars that have run the show since the new millennium. All of them have budgets where they can make their reality quickly follow their thoughts. They’re so successful and well-heeled; they could probably spend their vacations throwing bills off the back of a speeding train. There was more suspense for me in whether Rice could hold off his faceless, but aggressive opponents (and weather) rather than who would win Top Fuel between Schumacher, the Kalittas, or Bernstein. I mean we’ve seen the movie before, right?
I’m not sitting here sniping from the sidelines like some academic fussbudget. I’m also cogitatin’ too.
Remember racers like Yoichi Oyama, Kenji Okazaki, and Clive Skilton? They were all foreign drivers who made a dent into drag racing. They handled themselves well, and it gave the sport a less claustrophobic feel compared to now where it’s the same ole’ same ole’. And I’m not restricting my open door policy to just those overseas. We need new stars period.
I’m tickled to death when I see a Bob Gilbertson win Funny Car, or even a Jason Line get in a final, who admittedly is enjoying the rare air under Greg Anderson’s Pro Stock penthouse suite. As I’ve said before, the sport needs this. Even NASCAR has a shuffling of the deck every five years. In 1999, how important were Jimmie Johnson, Kurt Busch, Matt Kenseth, or Jamie McMurray? The infusion of new blood; that’s what drag racing needs. Someone needs to raid the suites at the straight line races.
Wouldn’t you feel great if you looked at National DRAGSTER’s Tricky Tipster and saw names in Top Fuel like Abu Ahmed Serif’s “Al Jazeera Express,” 3-1 in Top Fuel, or Randy Bob Martunian’s “Arnenian Redneck Hustler” PT Cruiser in Funny Car. I know I would. Variety is the spice of overcrowding, and right now NHRA could use that in its winner’s circles.
A couple of issues back, I made a crack about my picks for NHRA Top Fuel and Funny Car supremacy being Rob Passey in the dragsters and Steven Neese in Funny Car. I know I know, as the Beach Boys put it, “Wouldn’t it be Nice?”
Well, hell yes.
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