Lemme tell you what the father of modern stand-up comedy,
Lenny Bruce said before his death. And if you don't know Bruce
or his work, consider that guys like George Carlin, Chris
Rock, and hundreds of others have a statue of him on their
dashboards. He freed the modern stage of a hang-up with so-called
"dirty language" and it changed comedy, and dare
I say, most movies and television forever. You tell it like
it is, pal, the good, bad and the ugly. Bruce's opinion in
a paraphrased quote (you notice I paraphrase a lot; memory's
gone to shit): "Dirty words? Let me give you the answer
in advance: There are none!"
Hold it, Martin, c'mon you're equating Lenny Bruce with Bazemore
and there's no dirty words? ... don't try and pass that shit
here. Why not? Everyone you know swears with the right motivation,
including the moms and the kids. Special words for special
situations. That's why people let one go now and then.
Can you imagine the following?
ANNOUNCER: Whit, sure looks like the old Matco Tools Funny
Car struggled to get down the course in that losing run?
W.B. Well, right you are. The adhesive qualities of the racing
surface appear to have degenerated somewhat from qualifying,
no doubt due to the sun beating down on the rubber and oil
and the fact that the surface has not been repaved and/or
fortified in the past 25 years. But golly, I'm not a paving
contractor, still the situation does produce a mental conundrum
of sorts.
So, what's $10,000 off base of shortening that diatribe to
the track is shit? The track sucks? (Oblique sexual reference
there) No, I think Bazemore stated succinctly and correctly
his feelings and there wasn't anything remotely offensive
about it.
Now, I know the inevitable, well maybe it's all right for
we adults, but what about the goddamn kids, wise-ass?
I was a kid once and I believed I started cussing at about
age 7. The liquor clerk at the local supermarket rebuffed
a request of mine when he told me they were out of Chesterfields
and I said, 'don't hand me that shit." He, however, wasn't
out of a palm full of fingers that slapped the baseball cap
off my bubble gum chewing head and out the door I went. I
did get in the last word, though. Next month, I learned how
to say, "motherf*cker."
The point? No matter how hard you try, these little folks
pick things up and it isn't due to lax morals or any of that
other shit. Everyone I knew cussed by fourth grade with the
small exception of those who later would become priests or
cops. It's life in the big city. As a parent, I would say
something along the lines of, "Look, Heathcliff, I know
the other kids do it, but that doesn't mean you are forced
to. I mean if they all go to church, that doesn't mean you
have to? Before you fire off, look around yourself, is what
you're about to say really called for? A hammer on the thumb?
Goddamn right. But, you're at breakfast and your hard-of-hearing
great-grandmother is sitting across the table from you ...
you don't say great-grandma pass the f*cking butter, you say
'Great Grandma, please pass the butter."
They're gonna pick things up because this is the real world.
And I'd bet my car that any of the possible little offendees
heard the word "shit" long before Whit spit one
out on the turn-off road. No, I AM NOT encouraging the racers
to feel free to say any shit they want. Again, time, place
and condition, (if you can control your emotions) determine
a lot. And as far as shit being a dirty word? Anatomically,
it certainly is and that's all. I mean, really, what would
this world be like if people were so bottled up and wrapped
tight that "jeepers" was the strongest thing you
were allowed to say? The mental hospitals of the world would
outstrip this country's annual military budget.
NHRA should have just sucked it up. In fact, they should be
glad that that little brick tumbled out of Bazemore's mouth.
For a sport that publishes itself as super-bad, all-out, no
limits, and grand theft should be a little embarrassed. What's
wrong with a wee bit of pepper to liven up the broth? The
racers aren't going to fall off the wagon that often; they
have other pressures such as sponsors and the like, so to
chastise a loyal competitor for a slip of the tongue for $10,000
...
… well, I think it's a bunch of shit.
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