From this writer’s West Coast dwelling, the big pull at U.S. 30 was the times like the above. How audacious can you get? Sure, fencing with death threats has its pull, but to publicly promote times that figure-four leg-locked the imagination like a hit of blotter acid was truly adventurous. For example, the first 200-mph Funny Car times were run in the summer of 1968 and the first 210’s weren’t run until Gene Snow cranked a 213 at an AHRA Grand American in the fall of 1969, a good three months after Lindamood’s alleged 218-mph charge. But no, never mind. I wished I coulda been there for that and many of the other shows that the track hosted.

In the defense of the track, it has to be stated that for a long time they used the somewhat antiquated Fosdick timers instead of the more popular Chrondeks of the period, and they registered times from above the top end lights and not on the ground as they do now. But enough introduction . . .

If I had to pick a time where I could’ve been a benchwarmer at U.S. 30, I’ll say July and August of 1972. Here are a couple of lurid examples of the whacked out electronics at Twilight Zone International. Keep in mind that U.S. 30’s second hands went especially crazy in the speed department (as opposed to e.t.), and that’s the lure here.

On July 8, the track books in an eight-car Top Fuel show featuring Mike Kuhl and Carl Olson, 1971 U.S. Nationals kingpin Steve Carbone, soon-to-be NHRA Summernationals champ 18-year-old Jeb Allen, first-over-220 Don Cook, recent Bakersfield March Meet Hall of Fame inductee Gary Cochran, 1970 U.S. Nationals’ famed exploding Top Fuel runner-up Jim Nicoll, 1971 Summernationals Top Fuel champ Arnie Behling in Bruce Dodds’ “Spirit,” and Chicago’s most beloved, not to mention one of the country’s favorite heroes, Chris “the Golden Greek” Karamesines.

Karamesines opens the show by dropping Carbone’s 6.48/231.36 with a 6.34/248.00. Did you say TWO-FORTY EIGHT? As in miles per hour? And Garlits had run the first and ONLY 240, a 243.90 at that year’s Gatornationals? My God, I think I just swallowed a glowing Chesterfield. I just spilled a beer on a baby.  That’s what I’d have done! Hell, when Doug Kalitta ran the 335.57 at Las Vegas this year I swallowed a peach seed, and a half pint of Dickel Bros. sour mash, that’s including bottle! I know my reflexes. I know my speeds!

Next race, Cook breaks on a burnout and Jeb’s “Praying Mantis” throttles to a 6.36, decent shot, at 241 flaming miles an hour FLAT! Is this the fastest track in the solar system? Does Arnold Schwarzenegger speak with a Japanese accent? Does George’s W stand for Weasel? Godfrey Daniel!!!

A moment of sanity surfaces when Nicoll bops Cochran, 6.54/214.79 to 6.83/234.37, but then that all goes to hell when Behling’s 6.31/229.00 eclipses Olson’s 6.32 at, the fastest speed of the last ten minutes, 246 flat. A 246 is a loser? That’s like Stephen Hawking failing an algebra exam. What the hell is the name of the off-ramp to this place?

In the final, Behling and Olson met in a rematch and both lit the tires with Behling prevailing with a 6.83/226.13 to Olson’s 7.25, but you get the point. Fast? Yep, as in Eddie. Olson even recalled lately receiving a 251-mph time slip that summer.

Dave Condit aboard Gene Beaver’s “L.A. Hooker” Mustang was a regular at U.S. 30 Dragway during the 1972 campaign, putting in a number of appearances with the Coke Cavalcade circuit. (Steve Reyes photo)

The next week, (July 16) the track booked in the eight-car Coca-Cola Cavalcade of Funny Car Stars and the cars ran almost exclusively in the seven-second zone save for Bobby Rowe in Don Schumacher’s number two “Stardust” Barracuda. All he did was run decent 6.56 and 6.69 times in respective wins over Bobby Wood’s Vega and Cliff Brown’s “Chicago Kid” Mustang for the right to meet Dave Condit astraddle Gene Beaver’s “L.A. Hooker” Mustang. He won that race 6.83 to 7.41, but that paled in comparison to what was attached to his 6.69 in the opening round win over Wood. How about 244 MILES PER HOUR FLAT??!!

Two hundred forty-four. Geez, that’s only 19 miles an hour less than the fastest speed ever for a Funny Car. The first 230 wasn’t run until Jim Murphy’s 231.95 at the NHRA Supernationals in November. I can’t help it. Call me a cynic, but I can visualize the track owners in the U.S. 30 tower, laughing it up amidst the haze of cigars, fishnet stockings, and Old Style beer, saying to each other, “That ought to hold the bastards for awhile.”

In a closing example, that August 9th in a special Top Fuel versus Funny Car show, “the Greek” ran a first-round 248 while beating Carl Olson in round one, and another synapse-clogging  244 while beating Tom Hoover’s “White Bear” Charger Funny Car in the final. The word “outrageous” simply didn’t exist in the U.S. 30 dictionary. No limits, no lie.