“Which one is he?” the shutterbug asked. (And
it was kind of hard to tell.)
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Quickly,
speeches were done, and the doors opened to Club Aston,
the hottest ticket to the inner working of a place of business
since Willy Wonka lured some of his best customers into
his Chocolate Factory.
Through a vaguely Stanley Kubrick-inspired faux decompression
chamber that normally opens with a thumb-scan, the opulent
auto aficionados were shoehorned into the private club,
while Queen’s “I’m in Love with My Car”
floated out of hidden speakers and then segued into the
Bond theme while the DB9 Coupe spun around behind a veiled
curtain. A few partygoers cribbed a ride on the turntable
for a revolution or two and then jumped off, and folks sauntered
into a vault that opened up into a dining room and casino
area.
After dinner, in a variation of the upstairs/downstairs
that is unique to Los Angeles, Sex Pistol Steve “Jonesy”
Jones beached himself on a chair and made small talk with
a hirsute hipster minion. Downstairs, a mere spitball away,
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger bongoed platitudes, basked
in flashbulbs and turned on his T2-smile.
I
clicked on my Cyber-Shot and was able to fit both Jones
and The Executive Weightlifter into the frame.
“Hey Jonesy. How does it feel to have your picture
taken with the Governor?” I jived.
“Well, I didn’t really, now did I? I’m
up here and he’s like a hundred yards away or sump-fing.”
“Awww, you could hit him with a paper plane. And
technically, you did get your picture taken with the Governor.
You’re just up front and he’s way in the background.”
“One of me mates cuts his hair.” Jonesy mused.
“So what kind of car do you drive?”
“It’s not an Aston Martin and that’s
all you need to know.”
“Are you in the market for an Aston Martin?”
“In the market for one? No, but I might nick one
before the evening is through.”
“Beats bankruptcy.”
“Wot?”
I thought back to Beau Boeckmann. He might be wise to check
the inventory after Jonesy peeled out in exodus. 
Cole Coonce fights boredom, blogs and publishes books
at
www.kerosenebomb.com ; He can be reached at cc@kerosenebomb.com
