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Lamest Commercial: Hands down it goes
to the Degree antiperspirant people. Hardworking SWAT officers overly
concerned and filled with the desire to smell good while bashing heads.
I sometimes think that some of these CEO’s and Marketing geniuses
look out at us in the audience and see a pumpkin patch. Maybe there
really is something about a Stetson-like odor immediately preceding
a black boot crashing through your front door. Stoooooopiddd!!!!
Heir Apparents Already Determined? TNN
did a number of pre-race studio interviews that worked pretty well,
but did you notice the two nitro drivers that got the biggest number
of hits? Tony Schumacher and Jerry Toliver both got the most amount
of air time and, in general, the info held your attention. It should
be noted that both drivers have solid leads in the Winston Top Fuel
and Funny Car points standings respectively. Also, while Pro Stock winner
Jeg Coughlin was not a studio interviewee, he did have a microphone
attached to him while in actual competition. As things stand now, defending
1999 Winston Champs John Force and especially Warren Johnson are really
going to have to get with it to catch these two guys and keep their
crowns, and Schumacher appears to be getting better all the time. That
didn’t seem lost on the TNN show shapers who by their exposure
of Schumacher, Toliver, and Coughlin, subtly dropped the hint that they
are the ones to beat.
NHRA Drag Racing Ad: The Houston race
was this writer’s first time to really pay attention to the NHRA
ad hyping, what else, their races. It was okay, one launch, flame fiery,
top-end charging panel after another culminating in a couple of the
heroes walking out of smoke or dry ice, or whatever the hell the stuff
was. It beat the daylights out of their print ads where the pictures
look like postage stamps, but not being a film camera guy, I can’t
wax too eloquently on the graphics. I do think it’ll play in Peoria,
if that’s what you want. The music? Too Led Zeppelin-ish. That
jazz is dead. You want skronk, grind, pounding electric guitar. Check
out a WWF wrestler intro at one of their shows.
Statement Producing Biggest Wince: Nobody’s
being blamed for anything here, but I couldn’t help but gag a little
after Larry Dixon Jr.’s semifinal win over Doug Herbert. Top end
guy Steve Evans commented to the winner Dixon Jr., “If you’re
wondering why the car was so hard to stop, it went 320 (4.627, 320.58).”
Dixon understandably was ecstatic. Me? I’ve rotted from past exposures.
320-mph? It’s just not fast enough.
Long Live King Bob the First: Jerry Toliver’s
“My God, what was that” red-light in the Funny Car final produced
the biggest upset winner in Funny Car since another Paul Smith-tuned
client, Jeff Arend, did the impossible by winning the 1996 NHRA Keystone
Nationals. Bob Gilbertson, who was not even mentioned in the Winston
media guide and has never made it as far as an NHRA nitro semifinal,
advanced to his first winner’s circle against Toliver at Houston.
Crew chief Dale Armstrong had given Toliver his third straight 4.93
in the final, but a .291 red-light put bubble-qualifier Gilbertson,
who ran a respectable 5.067, 304.25 in the W column.
God, it’s stuff like that that will keep me a fan. I love Force
and all those guys, but having a Bob Gilbertson or a Phil Burkart like
last year rise to the occasion - well, as Herman Munster would put it,
“It’s really boss.”
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