 |
| TOP FUEL |
ODDS |
SPONSOR |
|
| (1) Scott Kalitta |
10-1 |
Kitty Hawk |
| Board room burnout hasn’t translated
itself into rust. Kalitta still as good as he ever was. Took the
title here in 1995. Sure this is a stretch, but S.K. knows the
way. |
|
| (2) Joe Amato |
3-2 |
Tenneco |
| Do we hear six, as in Winston titles?
Prock has put the popular Pennsylvania parts peddler into the
picture, pallie. Pro pick of the week. |
|
| (3) Gary Scelzi |
5-2 |
Winston |
| Do we hear three, as in Winston titles?
The Johnson’s task may be a wee bit more daunting than Amato’s,
but Alan and Gary are far from out of it. |
|
| (4) Tony Schumacher |
3-1 |
Exide Batteries |
| Surely, "the Shoe" should
shine, okay, we’ll try to drop the alliteration bit. Still
has the sport’s only 330 speed to his credit and just missed
at the ‘Grove. Way, way overdue. |
|
| (5) Cory McClenathan |
3-1 |
MBNA |
| Yeah, Cory McClenathan! Hasn’t
had a great year, but this is this guy’s lucky track. Ran
the sport’s first 320-mph speed and has won here twice. Also
runner-upped in 1994. Indy win no fluke. |
|
| (6) Larry Dixon |
4-1 |
MBNA/Miller Beer |
| Dixon has a 4.4-second car, Dale Armstrong
has unreal mechanical cunning and Prudhomme knows how to win.
So why no points lead? In-flicking consistency. Addition of LaHaie
a plus. |
|
| (7) Mike Dunn |
7-1 |
Mopar Parts |
| Mopar below par, sub par, Jack Paar,
whatever. The guys aren’t running like they were at season
start. There’s still enough skill with which to kill here. |
|
| (8) Eddie Hill |
8-1 |
Pennzoil |
| Drag racing’s Hopalong Cassidy,
heroic and loved, and best of all Texan, would like to lay out
the bad guys. He usually thunders at "his ranch" in
Ennis. Extremely consistant. Bet the ranch. |
|
| (9) Kenny Bernstein |
7-2 |
Budweiser |
| And on the subject of Texans. Winless 1999 season
has made Kenny feel like the "Budweiser Jack of Clubs."
The crown rests heavy on the head of the king. Mike Green addition
changes odds. |
|
| (10) Doug Kalitta |
6-1 |
Kitty Hawk |
| His Kitty Hawk, like the Wright Bros.’, has
gotten off the ground (won Sears Point). Now let’s go somwehere. |
|
| (11) Jim Head |
10-1 |
Checker/Schuck's/Kragen |
| Right now, it’s Head’s you
win, tails I lose. Last win was the ‘97 Nationals, needs
to get going (didn’t say head-ed) in the right direction.
Longshot favorite. |
|
| (12) Bob Vandergriff Jr. |
9-1 |
Jerzees |
| Similiar to Schumacher, BVG is way overdue.
Has as quick as a 4.55, so he has available power. |
| FUNNY CAR |
ODDS |
SPONSOR |
|
| (1) John Force |
2-car entry |
Mustang Castrol
GTX |
| So what if
he’s been nailed early a few times. He has a fast car, this
is a fast track and these facts allow an even faster decision.
Tough call. |
|
| (2) Tony Pedregon |
8-5 |
Mustang Castrol
Syntech |
| Has the same
disease as Force: Both are afflicted with Coil-Fedderly-Medlen
syndrome. They break out running when they get on concrete. |
|
| (3) Whit Bazemore |
2-1 |
Camaro Kendall/Chuck
Etchells |
| Without the
hassles of running a team, could it be Bazemore plays more because
he stays more relaxed? Just a smoke ring, folks. Tim & Kim
a bonus. |
|
| (4) Tommy Johnson
Jr. |
5-2 |
Interstate Batteries/Hot
Rod Magazine |
| The child
of the corn (T.J.’s from Iowa, but come to think of it over
30) ran a reign of terror in the maples of Pennsylvania. |
|
| (5) Jerry Toliver |
2-car entry |
Pontiac WWF Racing |
| (From the
WWF locker room) "To all of you idiots out in TV-land, you
listen and listen good. After I’ve managed Ennis and left
town, the rest of the these-not-so-funny car so-called stars are
gonna be on soft foods for a month, licking their many wounds.
Outside of whooping ass, I’m real good at counting money
and that’s what’ll I’ll be doing here. The Motorplex
flex, dig it????" Both cars improving. |
|
| (6) Jim Epler
|
5-1 |
Pontiac WWF Racing |
| (Also from
the WWF locker room) "That’s right J.T., whether it
comes down to making money, mayhem, or moves, the big J.E. is
always on his game. Two runner-ups should tell the rest of these
bozos what’s up. This one’s ours and mine, a great big
moneymaker, backbreaker, for J.E. and the Undertaker. Rest in
pieces." |
|
| (7) Ron Capps
|
6-1 |
Copenhagen/Prudhomme |
| Battered but
unbowed, Capps should be in the thick of it here. Big Bud winner
and the Copenhagen guys have moxie if nothing else. Well maybe
Danish pride. Getting better, salary drive? |
| (8) Frank Pedregon
Jr. |
7-1 |
Penthouse/Jim Dunn |
| And now for
the most literate team in drag racing (Have you ever read the
stories and cartoons in Penthouse? Wow). Anyway, what can you
say about the team that wins Indy? We’re horny for more.
But this isn’t Indy. |
|
| (9) Dean Skuza
|
8-1 |
Matco Tools |
| Won Houston
in ‘97 and runner-upped here last year. Larsen can lance
the scoreboards with 4.9s, so unless there are no Force 4.7s or
4.8s, there’s no ex-Skuzas. Will need concrete results. |
|
| (10) Del Worsham
|
8-1 |
Checker/Schuck's/Kragen
|
| Not a dry
eye in the house when the CSK boys cashed in at Seattle. Shucks,
made it look as easy as some guys playin’ checkers in front
of Kragen’s. |
|
| (11)
Bob Gilbertson |
10-1 |
Trick Tank |
| Murf McKinney
and Paul Smith win the Drag Racing
Online "Inspector Gadget" award
with the pipe in Bob’s ‘Bird. Now if they can pump the
tune up a tad, they’ll be in line for a "Lead Wally"
or is that statue bronze? |
|
| (12) Scotty Cannon
|
9-1 |
Oakley |
| Mechanically,
a pretty sound deal, Pulde wrenches, Scotty launches. However,
that great big goose egg on the side of the car? How about Annie
Oakley wrapped in the company product? Geez, you can tell we’re
running late, cancha? Longshot favorite. |
|
| PRO STOCK |
ODDS |
SPONSOR |
|
| (1) Warren Johnson
|
2 car entry |
Firebird GM Goodwrench
|
| Press guide
says that W.J.’s hobbies are working and reading. The only
way he won’t win the Winston title, if he tries to do both
at the same time. |
|
| (2) Kurt Johnson |
3-2 |
Camaro AC-Delco
|
| Rubbing shoulders
with "the Professor" obviously has paid dividends. Car
flies, driver’s on target. Might find out if father knows
best in the final here. |
|
| (3) Jeg Coughlin,
Jr |
2 car entry |
Cutlass Jeg's
|
| Probably every
insider’s pick to rule the day W.J. retires. Has made great
strides since entering Pro Stock and could very easily win this.
|
|
| (4) Troy Coughlin |
2-1 |
Cutlass Jeg's
|
| Troy doesn’t
say much. Sort of the Gary Cooper of Pro Stock. Great driver,
plenty of car. Gary Cooper, Texas, Westerns, get it? |
|
| (5) Jim Yates |
4-1 |
Firebird SplitFire
|
| Former two-time
Winston champ will have all he can do to finish third this year.
Still, a formidable contender. |
|
| (6) Mark Pawuk |
8-1 |
Pontiac Summit
Racing |
| If the script
is accurate, up-and-down Mark should have a blah O’Reilly
race. He runner-upped at Maple Grove. |
|
| (7) Richie Stevens |
7-1 |
Firebird Collins
Racing |
| His driving
is good for a tenth most of the time. Could win. Oh really? No,
O"Reilly. Ford rates a bet. |
|
| (8) John Nobile |
9-1 |
Cutlass |
| Is Nobile
trucking? Pretty much so. The New Yawker cam knock heads with
the best of them until he gets into Johnson/Coughlin country.
|
|
| (9) Allan Johnson |
9-2 |
Avenger AMOCO
|
| The unrelated
Johnson probably realizes its all relative. If he was running
with Warren and Kurt, he’d have more wins. But they don’t
do Dodges, and Allen really hasn’t done all that badly. |
|
| (10) Darrell Alderman |
6-1 |
Avenger Mopar
Parts |
| We still insist
that pound-for-pound, Alderperson is the best driver in the class.
Now if he was related to the Johnsons, well... They’d probably
rub him out of the will. Recent semi-final appearance indicates
better things. |
|
| (11) Bruce Allen |
7-1 |
Pontiac The Outlaw
|
| Hey, Texi-gan
cranked a 200-mph lap at the ‘Grove. If mph still means horsepower,
then maybe they are ready to rumble, and it is their home track. |
|
| (12) Greg Anderson |
10-1 |
Pontiac Summit
Racing |
| We know, we
know. We all thought that when Greg left the Johnsons it was time
for piano lessons. Hey, but that’s why he’s a racer
and we’re handicapped... I mean handicappers. |
|
| (13) Mike Trumble |
20-1 |
|
| Former Sportsman
ace still looking for first win. Has runs a bunch of sixes, but
he looks a year away before someone hollers, "Let’s
get ready to Trumble." |
Ok! That's all for the
Texas Motorplex handicap
sheet. If you made the list remember this deal is all in fun. If you
didn't be grateful, but rest assured that just like Bob Fry we will
get to you eventually. And remember kids please no wagering. - JB
|
