What’s the fastest car?

We settle the controversy once and for all!

Words and photos by Cliff Gromer
11/8/05

ooking back through my files, I found the answer. My notes recall a discussion on this subject that took place in our office some time ago. No one could come up with the definitive “fastest car.” Oddly enough, the debate was settled by the plumber who happened by to fix the toilet, and overheard the conversation.

"You guys want to know what the fastest car is? It's the Batmobile."

There was a stunned silence. Then it hit us.  We never had seen the Batmobile beat by anything. Maybe the guy was right, but there was only one way to be sure. I picked up the phone.

 "Gotham City information? I'd like the number for Bruce Wayne. That's right, W-A-Y-N-E. Thanks."

"Hello Bruce? Bruce baby, Listen, I know you're tight with the Caped Crusader guy, and we'd like to do some bashing with his wheels for a test. That's right, the Batmobile. Yeah, a full test at Gotham Dragway. See what you can do? Great! Get back as soon as you can."

The Gotham clocks would tell the story if the Batmobile was, indeed, the fastest car in the world.

Moment of truth for the Batmobile comes on the starting line at Gotham Dragaway, as the Caped Crusader is misclassified and gets paired off against Jerry Caminito's 6-second Blue Thunder Funny car.

Gotham Dragway was packed with its regular Sunday racing crowd, and there was only passing notice paid to the caped figure of Batman as he pulled up at the appointed time in to the pits with his famous anti-crime roadster. Our road test included Batman making a time shot with the car. So, after uncorking the black bomber's titanium mufflers, he brought the car through tech inspection. What the heck, as long as he was there, why not run class and shoot for a trophy!

It was only after the machine had tech’d through and been classed, that we discovered that in an effort to embarrass Batman, one of the Joker's henchmen, disguised as a track official, had altered the index cards, placing the Batmobile right smack in the middle of the booked-in Fuel Funny Car field. A little disturbed by the prospect of having to listen to a Fuel Funny staging next to him, possibly breaking his concentration on the tree, Batman the trooper that he is, took off for the staging lanes.

While the Batmobile was a familiar sight to Gothamites in and around the city, seeing the car on the starting line of the local track was something new, and the race fans strained forward to see just what the Batmobile could do.

Batman's first round competition was Brooklyn, New York's Jerry Caminito. After the burnouts both cars staged and left on the green, with Caminito leaving on the Caped Crusader by virtue of a better light (.410 Caminito, .465 Batman).