FUNNY CAR
John Force DIDN'T WIN the 2003 Funny Car title;
right there you have the biggest story of the
season. The last time that happened was in 1992
when this year's champ and Force teammate Tony
Pedregon's brother, Cruz, worked his way to
the crown in the McDonald's car. That's a long
while back. I mean "George the Moron's" dad
was president back then. Bill Clinton was still
hustling swampland back in Arkansas, and Rush
Windbag was just beginning to hang out in Wal-Mart
parking lots waitin' for the man.
Man, if I was Force, anyone with a Latin surname
on the team would be fired.
But seriously folks, Tony Pedregon ... what
a deal. Second fiddle for four years in the
standings and pow! Standing in the shadows of
love and runaway a success since 1996. Just
think, in his first year with Force he was runner-up
six times in national event competition and
all of that with the added bonus of possibly
going in the tank if "the boss" got in trouble.
If nothing else, Pedregon's world title is
a direct rebuttal to the notion that a team
driver, a number two driver, can still finish
ahead of the team owner.
One person that can't be overlooked in all
of this is Pedregon's crew chief, John Medlen.
Medlen tuned Pedregon to the five wins in the
first NHRA national events, and except for a
few weeks, led the POWERade standings wire-to-
wire. Leaving aside, possibly Connie Kalitta
or Alan Johnson, this guy gets my vote as Fuel
Crew Chief of the Year.
PRO STOCK
Pro racer of the year? No contest. Not even
close. Greg Anderson. A couple of years ago,
who were the major domos in Pro Stock? Jeg Coughlin
Jr., Warren Johnson, Kurt Johnson, Jim Yates.
Greg Anderson? Oh yeah, he used to be "W.J.'s"
butler. "W.J." wishes.
Anderson's climb to success occurred in a relatively
short time. He started driving in 1998, where
he finished 28th in the then Winston standings.
In 1999, he rose to 10th, but fell seven slots
back the next year with a 17th place finish
and the following year, improved only slightly
with a 15th slot ... then the dam broke. In
2001 he won the Bristol race and little old
Indy, and at that point race people began to
figure that Greg did more than punch the clock
at the Johnson factory.
You know the rest. He won the title this season
because he had the quickest and fastest "factory
hot rod" in the sport, bar none. He's won 10
races (with Pomona II still to go) and that's
more than double any of the other top tenners.
His 6.670, 6.684, 6.693, 6.702, and 6.707 are
the five quickest elapsed times in the class
and he has the four best speeds to his credit,
an unbelievable 207.18 as the topper.
Here goes the ole' neck, but Anderson shows
all the signs of being the next Bob Glidden.
He had no connections (save for his graduation
with honors at Sugar Hill University), his parents
aren't rich and connected, and he doesn't have
a connection to the Pentagon. He got by the
old fashioned way. He cheated. (No, sorry),
He worked his way to it, getting by on sheer
ability; A rare commodity in these days and
one worth saluting.
I'm going to get slightly personal here, but
f*** it, it's my party and I'll cry if I want
to. Frank Manzo, a Hall of Famer if there ever
was one, won his 9th Alcohol Funny Car title
this season. Fine, but Jeezuschrist. I have
this friend from Ohio, who I will not embarrass
by mentioning his name, who should have won
a race this year. I've been telling people this
for the past two years. He made a good bit of
the tour, running in Divisions 1 and 3 primarily,
and made the final in one of those Lucas races.
His car runs pretty well, certainly well enough
to beat an old guy like Manzo. I mean the guy's
only five years younger than me and he doesn't
work out. My guy's in his prime, he's got good
bloodlines, but I don't get it. Okay, mystery
guest, I'm gonna tell you again. In the immortal
words of veteran Santa Anita handicapper William
Matthew Fitzgerald:
"Kid, lay off the booze, stay in shape, and
you'll win the title."
And that's all there is.
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