What's in a name?

By Susan Wade
9/9/03

Greg Anderson, the Pro Stock points leader and U.S. Nationals winner, called Indianapolis Raceway Park "such a great place" and rhapsodized about the 49-year-old event. "It does so much to you. I can't put it into words," he said. "I never get nervous at any race we go to. I've really gotten over the nerves. But when you come here, you're a mess. Every time you get in the car you're shook up. That's just not normal, but that's Indy. That's what it does to you. That's how important this race is and what it makes you feel like."

CLERMONT, Ind. -- Greg Anderson said he couldn't put it into words, but that eloquent statement spoke for so many drivers. Fans couldn't seem to put that magical spell into words, either, when DRO wandered throughout the crowd.

Can't anybody come up with something better than "the Super Bowl of Drag Racing"? Or "World Series of Drag Racing?" we asked. Or the Indianapolis 500 or Brickyard 400 or Daytona of Drag Racing? Yaaaaawn. C'mon. This is the nation that invented the A-bomb, the automobile, and airplane, for crying out loud. We put men on the moon. And, okay, if you must, we came up with Twinkies, funnel cakes, Pop Tarts and curly fries, too. Whatever inspires.

Only a few creative folks took a shot at coining a new term for the event which turns 50 next Labor Day weekend.

Super Gas racer Rick Cates of Canyon, Texas, said "The Big Go" ought to be renamed "The Big Splash." Cates gets extra points and lovely DRO parting gifts for playing along, especially just after red-lighting himself out of competition in the first round.

Nick Czajkowski, who drove down from Racine, Wis., suggested "The Ace of Races" or (perhaps because he watched so much Gulf War TV coverage) "The Mother of All Races." His dad, Andy, who has missed just one U.S. Nationals event since 1971, came up -- no doubt on the golf course -- with "The Hole-In-One of Drag Racing" and "The Only One That Counts."

Scott Martin of Indianapolis just might have earned himself a promotion from lemonade vendor to Chamber of Commerce representative with his Disneyesque answer: "How about 'The Little Guy's Chance To Be A Star?" he asked. "You know, this is the world capital of racing. We have the Indianapolis 500 in IRL, the Brickyard 400 in NASCAR, the Formula One race, and the NHRA U.S. Nationals -- all the biggest racing in one city. No other city in the world has that."

Martin was on a roll. "Give me a few beers and I can be catchy," he promised. Beerless, he came up with a few more. "It's the Ben and Jerry's of Drag Racing," was one scoop. "How about 'The Cocaine of Drag Racing'?" he said. "You know -- it's an instant quick kick." You say you're selling Electric Lemonade, Scott?

Funny Car driver Dean Skuza thought of a poker metaphor: "The Nut." In poker parlance, he explained, "the nut" is the best possible set, straight or flush.

Kathy Frentz, of nearby Monrovia, Ind., would have to agree that there's no better racing. "We stay away from the 500 and the 400," she said. "This is much more exciting, with the smoke, fire and loudness. I like it better."

She said she was a bit startled at first at the sensory-overload experience. "I'd call this The Loud-Ass Event," the mother of two said. "The first time I came here, I was doing my tinkling in the bathroom and I heard that noise. I about peed all over myself. I came out of the bathroom and said, 'What the hell was that?!' "

So, "The Loud-Ass Event" works for her. Works for us.

Probably doesn't work for one couple from Iowa, who in no way wanted DRO to know their names or hometown. The wife said, "We've been coming here every year for 35 years. We're old-fashioned. We're set in our ways, and we don't want to call it anything else."

Greg Anderson, maybe you were right. That's just not normal, but it's Indy.